Xtreme Humor Friday Mini Edition 7/11/08

I’m still on vacation, so this is a mini-version.

Xtreme Humor will be back with a full edition late next week.


Gotten a Good Joke Lately? Send It In!



Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs A Police Officer Is Too Fat

10. Traded his police cruiser for a Good Humor truck
9. On drug busts he’s the battering ram
8. Uses powdered sugar to dust for prints
7. Once tasered a guy at McDonald’s for skimping on the special sauce
6. He gets winded during roll call
5. Known as “New York’s Tubbiest”
4. Decided to join writers’ strike just for the free donuts
3. His “nightstick” is a pepperoni
2. Calls for backup to help him get out of his squad car
1. Looks in the mirror and says “OK, break it up”


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“Equal” is not always synonymous with “the same.” Men and women are created equal, but boys and girls are not born the same.

You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.

You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she’ll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he’ll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you are driving there.

Boys’ rooms are always messy. Girls’ rooms are usually messy, except it’s a good smelling mess.

A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. Then she will hit a boy with it. A baby boy will pick up a stick and start drumming..

Boys couldn’t care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.

If girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.

Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.

Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make sounds like a truck.

Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the TV during a movie they have already seen.

Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.


I got arrested for drunk driving over the weekend.
But I’m gonna’ fight it.
They were stopping every car driving on the sidewalk.


Xtreme Parting Thought

Go the extra mile. It’s never crowded.

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