Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Ways to Make the Democratic National Convention More Fun

10. Offer John McCain $1 million if he correctly guesses how many homes he owns
9. Every night, one lucky lady gets to go home with John Edwards
8. In honor of party mascot, serve assortment of delicious donkey and mule treats
7. Each delegate gets a kitty . . . superdelegates get a super kitty!
6. Special appearance by the exhumed remains of Lyndon Johnson
5. Call the Pepsi Center something crazy like the Bird’s Nest or the Water Cube
4. Give John Kerry’s crazy wife five minutes to say whatever she wants
3. Kick things off with a song from Dennis Kucinich
2. Five words: hot volleyball babes in bikinis
1. Try to squeeze Al Gore into the same suit he wore at the 2000 convention

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