When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were
When they were growing up; what with walking
Twenty-five miles to school every morning … Uphill BOTH ways
Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
There was no way in hell I was going to lay
A bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it
And how easy they’ve got it!
But now that… I’m over the ripe old age of
Thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
Childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you
Don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The
Internet .. If we wanted to know something,
We had to go to the damn library and
Look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write
Somebody a letter with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and
Put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3’s or Napsters! You wanted to
steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’d usually talk over the
Beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
Were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either!
When the phone rang, you
Had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
Your mom, your boss, your
Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you
Just didn’t know!!! You had
To pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video
Games with hi gh-resolution
3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games
Like ‘Space Invaders’ and
‘Asteroids’. Your guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your
Imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or
Screens, it was just one screen
And you could never win. The game just kept getting
Harder and harder and
Faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such
Thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy
Or some old broad with a hat
Sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that
Was only like 15 channels
And there was no on screen menu and no remote
Control! You had to use a
Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
Your ass and walk over to the TV to change the
Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
On Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK
For cartoons, you spoiled Little rat-bastards!
And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
Something up we had to
Use the stove or go build a frigging fire…
Imagine that! If we wanted
Popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
And shake it over the stove
Forever like an idiot.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids
today have got it too easy.
You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted
Five minutes back in 1980!
The over 30 Crowd