Excerpts from Xtreme Humor – Sunday Edition


Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs Your College Basketball Team Is Not Going To Make The NCAA Basketball Tournament10. When team makes a basket, everyone hugs and squeels, “Yipee!”
9. Players look like the fat guy from “Lost”
8. Coach keeps pronouncing NCAA “NICKAHHHHH
7. Before hitting the court, team eats lovely meal of fettuccine alfredo
6. They spend timeouts discussing who will win “American Idol”
5. Team let shot clock expire because they enjoy the buzz
4. School’s mascot is a giant asthma inhaler
3. Players regularly leave the game early to beat traffic
2. Point guard is leading the league in hernias
1. They score less than Eliot Spitzer
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Three women are chatting about their relationships. One is engaged,
one married, and one a mistress. They decide to amaze their
men….that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style,
stiletto’s and mask over their eyes .
After a few days the three met again.The engaged girlfriend: ‘the other night, when my boyfriend came
back home, he found me with the leather bodice, 12 cm stilettos
and mask. He saw me and said: ‘you are the woman of my life,
I love you’…then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Ah! me too, the other night I met my lover in the
office and I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask
over my eyes and a raincoat, when I opened the raincoat… he did
not say anything…. .but we had wild sex all night.

 

 

 

 

The married one: ‘the other night I sent the kids to stay at my
mothers for the night, I got myself ready: leather bodice, super
stilettos and mask over my eyes….my husband comes back from work,
opens the door and says:

“Hi Batman, what’s for dinner?”

~thanks to RSommers

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the
group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it
when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer,
she’s a lawyer’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
“And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

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