Veterinarian’s Revenge

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her, put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn’t know what to call her, so we named her “Pussycat.”

The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her.

My husband (the complainer) said, “OK, but don’t forget to wash her, she stinks.” He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him. My husband and my Vet don’t see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband ‘El-Cheap-O’, and my husband calls the vet ‘El-Charge-O’. They love to hate each other and constantly ‘snipe’ at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.

The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet. The MD’s waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor.

A side door opened and the vet leaned in – he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, “Your wife’s pussy doesn’t stink any more and it’s finally clean and shaved, so she now smells like a rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think she’s pregnant. God only knows who the father is!” Then he closed the door.

Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!

Three Mice

Three mice went into a bar one evening. They all bellied up to the bar and each ordered a shot of quervo. The first mouse, downs his shot and looks at his 2 buddies and says “ya know, I’m the toughest mouse here…I go looking for mouse traps just so I can do chin ups”.

The second mouse, not to be out done, downs his shot and says, “Awwww, that ain’t nothing. I go looking for D-Con so I can sprinkle some on my cereal each morning”.

The third mouse, downs his shot, and starts walking out the door. Hey, hey, wait a minute, where ya going?
The 3rd mouse turned around, looks at his buddies and replies, “I’m going home to fuck the cat”.